Men are sloth

I am worried about mankind in general… and men specifically.  I know you are wondering if world peace, nuclear meltdowns or excess body hair is raising the level of my concern.   I am afraid that men are getting lazy, perhaps to the point of sloth.  We are, apparently, unable to flush toilets.

It is true, with the wide spread use of automatic flushing urinals and commodes, men are no longer able to manually flush porcelain, at least out in public.  In my house all of the regular male lavatory users are able to flush.  The sampling is pretty small, so I am statistically unable to draw any conclusions. 

In restaurants, airports and other public venues, we have apparently lost the ability, or perhaps the will, to reach up and push the 4” lever to whisk our waste water downstream.  To be honest, it is kinda gross to step up to find a filled urinal.  I find myself obligated to flush for you before taking care of business and flushing for myself later. So any argument on saving water is invalid. And then the next level, finding an un-flushed commode, I am not even going there.  Wrong, very wrong. Guys, you don’t even have to bend over, just tap the handle with your foot.  You can make ninja swooshing sounds if that helps the process any. 

On side note, some of you need to drink more water.  You appear to be dehydrated.  Orange pee is bad.

I am trying to figure out if this is a left wing, right wing or communist conspiracy to render the American male useless.  It could be an alien conspiracy as well.  We don’t give enough credit to those pesky aliens taking over the world one task at a time.  I think it started back in the late 60’s with automatic transmissions.  We are now unable to manually shift a car.  I made sure all of my kids could drive a stick.   My middle child is still traumatized by me making her learn to drive in our 5 speed Jetta before allowing her to drive an automatic.  My oldest daughter’s first car was a Ford Ranger with a 5 speed.  Learning the hand eye coordination and timing necessary to drive a manual transmission is a life skill.    

There have been other attempts to render us helpless.  Happily the horrible trend of automatic seat belts failed.  I hated that ridiculous contraption running around my head.  I rode in a few cars that had them; I was hit by the damn thing every time I opened the door.  If we are too lazy to reach over and buckle our own seat belt, then we deserve to be tossed out of the gene pool. 

This is part and parcel of process making us the Jetson’s.  You know good old George Jetson, the alarm clock triggers the bed, launching him up onto the conveyor belt and into the machine that showers, shaves and automatically dresses him. That has to be in the not too distant future. Although I will happily trade dressing myself in the morning if I can get a car that hovers over traffic.  The future isn’t all bad.